Lost
by JacqueLoveLess
Summary: Naruto is sick. Sick of the world. The looks and the spiteful words he doesn't deserve. He tired of everyone and is sick of pretending to be happy. 'It's time to let go, it's time to let it all fall away.' .Rewriting.
1. Rewrite

Dear faithful readers,

I feel horrible but I am re-writing this fanfic. The pairing will remain the same but I'm making it better. The beginning was horrible and the rest isn't that great. I'm hoping that by re-writing it will spark a new chapter. Now, I hope each of you can forgive me and adjust to my new, hopefully, improved 'Lost'. Please continue reading.

Sincerely ProphecyOfDarkness.

Also, I may change my penname to JacqueLoveLess, if it's avalible.


	2. Chapter I

Lost

By

JacqueLoveLess

Chapter I

Can I call this home? Can this hate, this spite really be a home? Can this be a home? As the bruises collect and the pain refuse to dull, can this be a home? It's all I've ever known. But a home? Can being alone be what it's about? Is it really the way it's supposed to be? I don't think so. Because in a home they see the good and accept the bad. In a home they love you, and defend you. But I have no one like that, so I suppose, this isn't a home. Just a place to run to when there is panic of the idea of being alone.

So I'll let this mask slip away and I'll be me. Because that's what they see, they see the demon in me. So it's not worth it. So, this mask is gone and I really don't care anymore. Because this is not my home. This is not my safe place, this is my hell. So, let is all come down and never say 'give'. Because I am who I am, and I'm sick of it all, because Konoha is not my home, it is not my family, nor my safety. Because there is no one. So I'm letting go just like the rain.

----

"Sasuke-kun!" the loud screech is equal to nails on a chalkboard. I have nothing against Sakura, just that she's a little… useless to me. Sure she's good at remembering and charka control, but she's not the best at anything else. She might be a good medical nin is she could get over her problem of seeing people dieing. She's not the best in a crisis. "Sasuke-kun! After training you and I could go eat somewhere." She babbled on. I notice the Uchiha look my way, probably waiting for me to say that _**I'd **_go to eat with Sakura. I noticed the slight lift in his eyebrows when I said nothing but continued to lean against the railing on the old wooden bridge, staring out at the water that filled the small river under it.

We were waiting, as usual, for Kakashi-sensei. And , as usual, Sakura yelled about Kakashi-sensei being late and fawning over Sasuke. Normally I would join her in yelling about Kakashi-sensei, but today, I really don't feel like it.

I looked over as Sakura, having been rejected by Sasuke, began ranting about Kakashi-sensei.

"He's never here on time!" She yelled, her arms waving around with her hands clenched into fists. "He always tells us to be here on time, yet he's _**never **_here on time! Then he goes on with his lame excuse 'Sorry, I got lost on the road of life'. What kind of excuse is that?" She continued but I just continued to lean on my arms against the railing, staring off, trying to tune her out. I wished training would start soon, so I could go back to my apartment and go back to bed… well, after I go grocery shopping first. I had hardly enough food for breakfast this morning…

"Sakura. Please, keep it down. People are staring and I have a headache…" I muttered softly.

" 'Keep it down'?" She repeated it as if I had asked her to jump off a cliff. " 'Keep it down?" She practically screeched. These were one of the times when I'd wished I'd just kept my mouth shut. "Why should I! You have no right to tell me to keep it down, because your like this every day! So, shut up!" She yelled, her voice cutting through my headache and lodging the throbbing loudness into the center of my head.

"Sakura." I watched as the pink haired girl whipped around at our sensei's voice. Sasuke and I adjusted ourselves to look over at the end of the bridge where not only our sensei was standing, but Gai, Kurenai, Asuma, and their teams stood, witnessing Sakura yell at me. "That's not how we treat our teammates. Apologize to Naruto. All he did was as you politely to be quiet. "

"B-but he!" Sakura stuttered he mouth opening and closing like a suffocating fish on land.

"It's no big deal." I muttered. "What are we doing today?" I asked, letting my eyes drift over the teams who stood at the base of the bridge with our sensei.

Kakashi paused for a second, probably considering whether or not to make Sakura apologize anyway, before he began talking.

"Today we'll be having joint training. We'll be testing our strengths against each other and help critic so basic stuff."

"So pretty much we're all showing off." Sasuke put in.

"Yup." Kakashi said with a close eyed smile.

"Okay. Which training ground are we going to?" I asked.

"The far west one, so we might as well head out now."

We began walking and conversation picked up. Gai and Kakashi were talking and Kurenai and Asuma were talking while TenTen and Neji, mostly TenTen, began talking. Rock Lee was bouncing around and trying to talk to Sakura while Sakura ignored him as she argued with Ino. I didn't even notice Kiba until he had managed to slide up next to me.

"So. Uzumaki. What's up with the clothing? Where's your obnoxious orange?" He asked. This wasn't a surprise. I had been expecting this since I put on my clothes this morning. I glanced around and noticed that it wasn't only Kiba who wanted to know, but almost every eye was on Kiba and me.

"All my orange clothing was dirty. I have to do laundry tonight." I muttered. It was true. I had ran out of clean clothes before I even noticed. So I had resorted to using my 'stealth clothing'. I glanced down at the clothing I was wearing. My black shoes encased my feet and ankles. I had to wrap my legs in bandages because at our last training session we went through knew high thorns and of course I was all cut up. So the white medical bandages disappeared under black ninja pants that reach to the middle of my shin. My black chain net shirt was covered with a short sleeve shirt. I wore a pair of hand protectors, though the Konoha symbol was absent. I had stopped wearing my forehead protector about a week ago and my hair wasn't very spiky any more.

"Whatever." Kiba muttered clearly disappointed in my answer.

"Okay! We're here! Separate and stretch." Kakashi said simply.

So began the day.


	3. Chapter II

Lost

By

Jacqueloveless

"Naruto, Neji. Go." Kakashi said. I stared at Neji. Neither of us moved, we simply stood there, surveying each other.

"Well? Do something!" Sakura yelled. Neji's eye flicker toward her in irritation, and I made my move.

I ran, silently, swiftly. Fast enough so that I was invisible to the naked eye, but of course, Neji's eyes were different. I realized I'd have to get the first, good, solid hit in, before Neji could activate his Byakugan. Even as I thought this, I ran, full force at Neji. My chakra pumped fist slammed into Neji's face, before I twisted and flung a full force roundhouse kick into Neji's back. He was thrown forward, but I was already there. I punched my fist into his gut, executing a upper cut to his stomach. He flew up, and I jumped, pushing after him to throw my fist into his stomach again, then grabbed his body, tipped us and spun. It was a slightly amateur lotus spin, but it worked as I slammed Neji into the ground, head first.

I jumped back, knowing that, though I was quick and got a good handle on the beginning of the match, it wasn't over. Neji was a rather amazing ninja, he'd pull himself from the ground and attack. I was right.

I watched as Neji jumped up from the crater we had created. "Byakugan!" Neji commanded. I watched as the veins showed around his pale, pupil-less eyes. "Eight trigrams, 64 palms!" He yelled, and his body sprang into movement. "Two palms!" He yelled flying toward me. Before he could land his blow, I had twisted to the left and narrowly avoided Neji's attack. I formed hand seals, then "Fire type; Mythical Fire Flower!" I yelled, and blew fire at Neji. He quickly dodge and sprang away from me. He charged and we began fight with taijutsu. As we fought I tried to think of a way to block Neji's Byakugan.

'His Byakugan deals with advanced sight or whatever… so if I cloud the area… Fog!' I thought. I twisted away from Neji descending fist and form the correct hand signs, "Hidden Mist Skill!" I exclaimed and watched as fog appeared. I heard Neji mutter a curse and realized I was right. If I mask my presence, and keep the fog going, I'll have him. I moved silently, and once I located him, executed my 'Uzumaki Naruto Combo'. I punched and kicked him high up, then before I slammed his body into the ground I used a full body bide, then smash him into the ground.

I released the fog and, breathing heavily, rubbed the tender spot on my stomach where Neji had gotten a very good hit in.

"Naruto…" Sakura murmured, I pretended not to notice that everyone was staring at me like I was a freak.

"Match to; Uzumaki Naruto." Kurenai said, intervening. "Naruto please release your full body bind on Neji." I gave a curt nod and walked over to him, placing my hands on his chest I released the full body bind.

"That's the second time you've beaten me, Naruto." Neji said, surprising everyone by giving me a small smile.

"You almost had me. If I hadn't have thought of fog, I'd have been done for." I said softly. It was true. Neji was an amazing ninja. Chances are, if I hadn't though of the fog, I'd be on my back with no charka left, beside Kyuubi's that is.

"Okay, next up is Rock Lee and Choji!" Kakashi called out; and the matches continued.

* * *

We had matches until around 4, then we stopped to eat. I leaned back against a tree trunk and bit into an apple. I had started eating healthier since I last saw Jiraiya. I was enjoying the slight quiet when, Kiba decided to plop down next to me.

"So…" he dragged to 'o' out, "I was wondering, were did you even get black clothing? I knew you had your funeral robes, but other than that, I thought it was all had was orange stuff." I sigh, and thought about not answering him, but, like before, everyone seemed to think they were in the conversation so I simply told them the truth;

"Jiraiya made me buy them." I grunted, my okay mood gone.

"Jiraiya?" he questioned.

"Yeah, the toad sage who I went with the get the fifth Hokage. He said the orange was too obnoxious and if I didn't loose it I wasn't going to learn a new technique, so, I went and pick up a couple pairs of black pants, shirts and standard issue sandals and called it good." I said, hoping the conversation was over; it wasn't.

"And your wearing them today because…" he let it trail off, waiting for me to finish. I good mood was officially diminished, and I'd already answered this question earlier that day.

"What's your sudden fixation with my apparel, dog breath?" I growled.

"Hey! Who are you calling 'dog breath', idiot!" he yelled, jumping to his feet.

"Oh, 'idiot', that's very original! You know what, dog toy, I was having an okay day and was in a pretty good mood, until the likes of you showed up. My god! I don't question every move you make! Leave me alone!" I shouted, jumping to my feet as well.

" Aw! The poor little demon boy can't take a couple of questions! What's wrong? Demon have a tummy ache?" he taunted. This pissed me off more, how the hell did he know about Kyuubi.

"Ah, so you know? Obviously someone didn't tell you the rules. Your not allowed to talk about it." I said simply, trying to stay calm.

"Not allowed to talk about it? And what if I do?" Kiba said, "What if I tell everyone what you are!"

"What happens if you do? Well I really don't care if people know or not, it's not my fault that it's there, so it doesn't bother me. I mean it's not like you all don't act like I'm a freak and ignore me anyway, so what's the point. But for the fun of it, I could show you what a really demon is like." I said, growling out the last part, menacingly.

"W-what?" that got his attention.

"Would you like me to show you? It would be very easy." I said simply, enjoying myself.

"Naruto." I turned my head to see Kakashi standing near me, his body language cautious.

"Hn. Don't worry, I wouldn't waste my energy on him." I said simply. "Are we done for the day?" I asked.

"Yeah, you can take off anytime you want." he replied.

"Oh, good. Well, see ya." I said simply and jumped up into the trees and took off toward home.

* * *

---Timeskip---

The sweat poured off my body as I woke, startled.

"Bad dream." I muttered, as though someone was around to care. I shifted uncomfortably for a moment, debating on whether I could go back to sleep or not. Not. Shoving the covers back I slide my feet down to the cool wooden floor of my bedroom. _'Shower'_, I thought and head for the bathroom.

* * *

"Naruto! Naruto, wake up!" the voice sounded panicked, and female. I jogged toward my door, only half-dressed.

"What?" I asked, swinging the door open. I didn't expect Sakura to throw her crying self on me.

"Sasuke! Sasuke is running away to join Orochimaru!" My eyes widened in surprise.

* * *

The rain was cooling, despite the wetness. I was only half conscious, but I knew I was going to die. The hole in my stomach was a testament to that. I laid there, the mud slick underneath me, the rain sliding down my face. I was aware of his headband, the one I had place a scratch in, laying by my head. _'Bonds.'_, I thought _'They mean less than I thought.' _Death was calm.

* * *

"He'll be alright?" it was whispered.

"I'm not sure. There was some severe damage, but he's on fluids and I've repaired him the best I could." a female voice responded. I knew that voice. I knew the first one too. Who were they?

"How bad was it."

"Bad."

Who were they talking about?

"Naruto." the gravely male voice was closer, "Naruto, your going to be fine. Your strong." a warm hand took mine. It was large, calloused, and heavy. Jiraiya. "You gave us a scare, but you'll be fine, you'll see." he sounded as though he was trying to reassure himself, more than me. Chapped lips touched my forehead. Where was my forehead protector, why was he saying these things? Wetness dripped into my hair from my forehead. Rain? No. Tears. Sleep was too hard to fight.

* * *

"Is he better?" a male voice asked.

"Tsunade thinks so. It's hard to tell with Kyuubi." Jiraiya.

"What does Kyuubi have anything to do with it?" the voice asked again. It was a gentle voice, one I knew I heard before. One that had comforted me before. Why can't I place the name, the face to this voice?

"Its trying to repair Naruto itself. It destroys certain medicines that he's given, making it more difficult."

"Oh…" the gentle voice sounded distressed, "Has Kakashi or Sakura been up here yet?"

"No." Jiraiya responded, his voice hard, " a few people have. Asuma and his team have been here, and Kurenai and hers. The young Hyuuga girl is here often, though she mostly sits outside the door. Gai's team was here, though Gai hasn't returned from his mission. A few towns people were here, but just for a little bit. There isn't much to say to a near comatose nin." he said his voice lessening. There was quiet, but I knew the other man was there, because every once in a while a sob would break the quiet.

* * *

The bright light assaulted my eyes. The beep of a the monitor that was hooked directly to my heart, was steady and even. I glanced around, the best I could. My body was strapped down due to the seizure I was having in my sleep. I remember a lot of confusion and blood. Then, Sasuke. He was gone. I closed my eyes briefly. Let the pain wash in, then out. I became aware of the hand loosely holding mine, and the soft snoring I knew belong to Jiraiya.

"Hey." I whispered, surprised by the hoarseness of my voice, I cleared my thought lightly, "Hey, old man." I said a bit louder, squeezing his hand.

"Huh? Wh-wha?" His white head came up off the bed, his eyes focusing. "What? Naruto!" He yelled and I was pulled, the best as possible, into a hug.

* * *

"Well, everything is healing up nicely. We can get you discharged in about three days." Tsunade said.

"In a hurry?" I murmured knowing what that meant.

"N-no." she said trying to sound firm and sure. "I just want to see you out of the hospital."

"That's cheerful speak for the elders want me out of the village as soon as possible." I informed her. Her smile dropped. "It's alright. Where am I going?" I asked softly.

"With Jiraiya. He said he'd train you…" she carried off, checking charts that she'd already checked.

"For how long?" I asked the unsaid question.

"Years, Naruto. Oh, those bastards are sending you away for years." she said, angry tears rolled down her face as she bit her lip. I smiled slightly and opened my now unbound arms. She fell into the hug.

* * *

"Your sure you have everything?" Iruka fussed.

"Yes. I have it all. All that's worth taking at least." I said.

"But you bag is so small…" Iruka fretted.

"I have a shirking jutsu. It makes the items smaller and easier to pack. I'll be fine. I've got Jiraiya to look after me." I glanced over and happened to catch what Tsunade was saying to him.

"… I swear, if he comes back a pervert, I'll break off your…" she broke off noticing my grin. She shot him one last threatening glance, then placed her arms around me in a hug. I reached my arms around her and pressed my face to her neck. We release and I smiled at her, and Iruka. The only one who knew about my departure.

I stepped back, side by side with Jiraiya. Lifting my face to the rising sun that was appearing over the Hokage Monument. I smiled, but wasn't able to stop the soft sigh from escaping my lips.

"Come on Naruto, let's go." Jiraiya called.

"Yeah… See you guys." I said softly, then took off after the toad sage.

* * *

---Time skip; 5 years later---

Time. Time changes a person. It's been three years since I separated from Jiraiya. Three years of being alone, except for the occasional people I would meet. I traveled, country to country, village to village, trying to find someone who made me feel less alone. People, people grow hard when no is there to talk to. I've grown hard, private. I've learn so much more than I ever thought I would. Now, there was nothing left for me to do, other than return to Konoha, and report back to the Hokage.

I trudged along the gravel path that lead the to village I was born to. My hands were slid into my pockets, my walk was a practiced casual, yet dangerously threatening stride. I saw the gates and stopped briefly. There would be guards at they're post, nin that would rather be doing something other than checking in new, foreign ninja. They could easily be avoided, but I was in the mood for fun.

I continued walking, and went past the gates. I didn't stop at the desk, but continued to walk until I heard the ninja at the desk call, "Sir, sir. We need your ID and information before you can continue." I turned, and watched a slight tenseness take over they're bodies.

"ID?" I asked aloud as though I was just a regular nin who lived there everyday and had simply gone for a stroll.

"Yes, sir. ID, information and you'll need to be searched for weapons. It's standard policy for foreign nin entering the village." the man replied.

"Foreign? Whatever made you think I was a foreign nin?" I asked calmly.

"Your not wearing a headband, and I've never seen you before." the man responded.

"Hm. I suppose that's reason enough." I said softly. I reached into my pocket, and pulled out the only two things I'd need. ID and a headband. Three years ago, I got my ID renewed, right before I left to travel alone.

"Thank-y." He'd read the name, his eyes widened, then darted between me and the photograph.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, knowing exactly what he was doing. He was trying to place the name with the face. Impossible. I looked almost nothing like I once did.

"N-no. Everything is in order, just… just let me stamp this…" he murmured and began filling out a form. Slammed a stamp on the form and handed it and my ID and headband back. "Have… a nice, a nice day." he muttered. "Please keep the ID , headband and forms on you until you see the Hokage."

"Will do. Bye." I said, letting my voice go gravellier than normal. I kept walking, as though I had no care at all, all the while letting my dark aura get darker.

* * *

Okay. It's been almost a year. And I'm sorry, but I hope you liked this chapter, I'll get the next up asap, but I have a lot going on. Next chapter you all get to read about how different Naru looks and how everyone reacts. I hope my fight scene at the beginning was good. Read and Review please.

JacqueLoveLess


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